Sunday, September 7, 2014

Mommy Brain

I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain




I am so relieved that it's the weekend.  I haven't been so ready for the weekend in quite a while.  Especially a weekend that I don't have my kids.  I have been in a job for the last 2 1/2 months now that I really truly enjoy; a job that is fulfilling and rewarding.  

Why was I so ready for this weekend?  

This last week my mind was a complete jumbled mess!!  I felt frazzled, unfocused.  I felt like I was forgetting something; like I was late for something, even if I wasn't.


How did this happen?  One big reason... school started!  


No surprise here, right?  This is what happens in Michigan the day after Labor Day.  I am mother to a 12 year old and a 9 year old.  Thing 1 is going into 7th and Thing 2 into 4th grade.  Even my step-son, Mr. T decided to head back into college.  Back to school is a time for celebration for parents, right?  No more bored kids; back to the routine of school.  


However, I have this theory about "mommy brain". This may apply to daddies too.  


From the moment you become a mom, you have complete and total responsibility for another human life.  Suddenly part of your brain now switches over to only thinking about that other little human.  That brain power is no longer available for anything else.  When Thing 1 was an infant, the thoughts were about feedings and diapers and growing and "is she still breathing in the night?".  Now that Thing 1 is in middle school, the thoughts change to concerns about how she is interacting in the world and how others are interacting with her - and "is she safe?" - not to mention less life altering, but still important concerns about school supplies and activities and pick ups...  then similar concerns are swirling about Thing 2.  Not to mention what is going on in my brain about Mr T starting back to college.


Think about it like a computer.  Have you every had a computer running really slow, and then you find out that you have a program running in the background that you didn't need?  If you could shut down that background program, the computer would run faster and more efficiently.  In the case of mommy brain, I know no way of shutting down that background program.  It is a mom's brain thinking about her children.  

So back to my week.  


It was only a four day week.  Somehow I think that there were 5 days of meetings jammed into those 4 days.  My work days were non stop.  No breathing room.  I felt like I was running late for everything, even when I wasn't.  Plus, it was the last week for my summer intern.  I had to make sure all his projects were handed off, that I finished his performance review and delivered it, that he had all the help he needed for his final presentations.


And school started!  So now the mommy brain kicked in in like crazy along with my busy work week.  Did I get all their school supplies?  Did Thing 1 make it to the bus?  Did Thing 2 look both ways crossing all the streets on his bike?  Are they both being respectful? Are they making friends and finding friends from before?  Is Thing 1 finding her classes?  Did they make it home from school OK? What extra-curricular activities should they be doing?  Do they start this week? 

The good news is that this school year will become routine just like years past.  The chaos of my mommy brain will calm down.  Not every week at work will be as busy.  


So I take this weekend to recharge and rest.  To make some time for me.  And Monday?  I will start again.