Finding HIM in our December Panic

Anyone else already have a little bit of "December panic"?  I had to just take a moment at my desk and breathe.  Funny how we turn a month of celebrating our Savior's birth and giving to others into something that can breed panic in all of us!  Thing 1 has a play next week.  I'm so proud of her, and she's having a blast... but 5 performances next week in the midst of a crazy week at work, plus she has solo & ensemble contest for band. And oh! a talent show coming up that she just auditioned for.  Thing 2 has basketball, and jump rope club, and science club - which aren't much but just this next week... might just throw me over the edge.  I have referred to being Supermom before, but really, someone get me a cape for the next couple weeks!

I haven't blogged for a while, so throw this all in with other life - Mr R. and I are ending our marriage.  That is not the point of this blog, but it affects my state of mind.  I am determined to stay a part of Mr. T's life.

So you throw in all of that (on a good note, I am in a much better place than I have been for a while - the kids and I moved in with my brother and niece... they are going to need names... I'll have to ponder that) and life is good, it really is.  But I look ahead at that BIG day - Christmas - it's coming behind all of this craziness.  There are expectations, and shopping, and things that require money, which honestly is a little hard to come by right now...

As I took a moment to just breathe sitting here at my desk this morning when I should be working, but instead I am just trying to calm down and focus.  This came to mind.

It is SO true as long as we take the time to remember it... and LIVE it... and keep our priorities straight.  What is the reason for the season?  Keep remembering that.  

This morning when I got to work, I saw a coworker who has been obviously stressed this week.  I stopped and took the time to listen, and think about how I could be a blessing to her today.  She needed french vanilla creamer.  THAT is something I could do.  I couldn't fix the stress of the job or all the things that she is feeling, but I could do that.  What could you do to be a blessing for someone else.  And then I also decided since I still wasn't calming down, that I was going to write - because maybe someone else needed to read this today.

Then this came to mind.

Be still.  Find a moment, or several minutes, or an hour.  And just be.  Listen to HIM. What is HE saying to you.  And just calm down in all of this "hustle and bustle".

For the first time, I'm feeling led to end my blog with a prayer.  May all of my words be a blessing to you today.

Dear Lord, I know I can never be a Supermom, but I can be the best mom, and woman that YOU made me to be.  In order to do that I need to take care of ME, YOUR creation.  Help me to find ways and help me to take time to do that and not let the world control me.  The birth of Your Son is coming!  What a celebration!  Let me not forget THAT is why this is a month of joy and love.  Not because we are busy and buy presents.  In His Name.  Amen.

Mommy Brain

I would dance and be merry

Life would be a ding-a-derry

If I only had a brain

I am so relieved that it's the weekend.  I haven't been so ready for the weekend in quite a while.  Especially a weekend that I don't have my kids.  I have been in a job for the last 2 1/2 months now that I really truly enjoy; a job that is fulfilling and rewarding.  

Why was I so ready for this weekend?  

This last week my mind was a complete jumbled mess!!  I felt frazzled, unfocused.  I felt like I was forgetting something; like I was late for something, even if I wasn't.

How did this happen?  One big reason... school started!  

No surprise here, right?  This is what happens in Michigan the day after Labor Day.  I am mother to a 12 year old and a 9 year old.  Thing 1 is going into 7th and Thing 2 into 4th grade.  Even my step-son, Mr. T decided to head back into college.  Back to school is a time for celebration for parents, right?  No more bored kids; back to the routine of school.  

However, I have this theory about "mommy brain". This may apply to daddies too.  

From the moment you become a mom, you have complete and total responsibility for another human life.  Suddenly part of your brain now switches over to only thinking about that other little human.  That brain power is no longer available for anything else.  When Thing 1 was an infant, the thoughts were about feedings and diapers and growing and "is she still breathing in the night?".  Now that Thing 1 is in middle school, the thoughts change to concerns about how she is interacting in the world and how others are interacting with her - and "is she safe?" - not to mention less life altering, but still important concerns about school supplies and activities and pick ups...  then similar concerns are swirling about Thing 2.  Not to mention what is going on in my brain about Mr T starting back to college.

Think about it like a computer.  Have you every had a computer running really slow, and then you find out that you have a program running in the background that you didn't need?  If you could shut down that background program, the computer would run faster and more efficiently.  In the case of mommy brain, I know no way of shutting down that background program.  It is a mom's brain thinking about her children.  

So back to my week.  

It was only a four day week.  Somehow I think that there were 5 days of meetings jammed into those 4 days.  My work days were non stop.  No breathing room.  I felt like I was running late for everything, even when I wasn't.  Plus, it was the last week for my summer intern.  I had to make sure all his projects were handed off, that I finished his performance review and delivered it, that he had all the help he needed for his final presentations.

And school started!  So now the mommy brain kicked in in like crazy along with my busy work week.  Did I get all their school supplies?  Did Thing 1 make it to the bus?  Did Thing 2 look both ways crossing all the streets on his bike?  Are they both being respectful? Are they making friends and finding friends from before?  Is Thing 1 finding her classes?  Did they make it home from school OK? What extra-curricular activities should they be doing?  Do they start this week? 

The good news is that this school year will become routine just like years past.  The chaos of my mommy brain will calm down.  Not every week at work will be as busy.  

So I take this weekend to recharge and rest.  To make some time for me.  And Monday?  I will start again.